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Tuesday, February 1, 2011

I need a bigger plate...I think.


Ever get lost in blogosphere and wonder why you feel like a loser? Like you start seeing all the cute crafty things people can make, or the awesome cooking they are capable of..and you wonder, where do I even begin?
That's how I feel today. I am a bit tired thanks to Connor's teeth trying to break through all night...(and right as I hit that sweet spot during my nap he managed to wake up screaming)...and I swear that leads to extra boredom. That and the blizzard outside which is oddly combined with sunshine is really sending me for a loop. I started wondering....what do other moms do on days like this? Why do I never feel accomplished with what I do???

I'm in school...and it's an easier semester than last semester...so that's a bit boring for me. I get lots more time at home which is awesome, but it gets overwhelming to CONSTANTLY be cleaning up and cooking and whatnot. SO lots of days I just do the bare minimum. I worry I don't play enough with Connor, so when I do more of that I feel guilty for not doing homework...and then I feel guilty when Ben gets home and dinner isn't done...or if it is it's a dumb dinner, easy recipe that he'd never make. He's the chef and I'll never feel as good as he is in the kitchen!

Then I remember how I've had a sewing machine since last Christmas and I've never had the time to use it. But I don't remember how to use it...and I have no idea what I'd make if I did.

I felt really proud of myself when I organized my recipes today and put them in a binder...then mad when I realized the binder didn't fit into my recipe cupboard....

I'm really looking forward to moving...but I dread the idea of packing up our home we've lived in for 2 years and finding a new place....

I am officially going to have a diet coke I think. I liked Christina's comment...I'm giving myself just this one thing! Maybe it'll help me be better about dieting and exercising.

I'm realizing the wind howling outside might be what is keeping Connor awake....stupid wind.

I'm bored...can you tell by the rambling???

Anyway...I wish I was better at being a "stay at home mom"....maybe someday I'll keep a spotless house like my mom, cook like Ben's mom and sew up a storm like everyone else. Til' then...it's homework, easy recipes, the occasional Netflix movie and snuggles with my bebe boy...and my big boy too I s'pose...

p.s. Lauren I need you to come and take more pictures of my family again....forget Texas.

4 comments:

Missy said...

Its never easy being a stay at home mom. My house is hardly spotless and I'm lucky to get dinner done on time. It doesn't get easier when you have two kids but the one thing I can say is that stuff doesn't matter. The fact that you are home with Connor is the best thing you can give him. And he loves you for it!

Lyndsey Swindlehurst said...

I have the same problem, feeling like what I do is not enough or never good enough. It's hard coming up with things to do with your kids, especially on cold days. I just pray that my son will always love me for trying! I know you are a fantastic mom...we all have our low days though.

kate said...

Yes girl, have the diet coke. I love it. I figure.. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I'm going to have a diet cola for enjoyment in a world that's heavily focused on the former things. :)

Jessica said...

I totally read blogs and then feel like a loser or unloved. It's really frustrating! Everyone has days like this and it's fine too. Something I've found helpful with being a SAHM is I've asked my hubby what he expects of me while I'm home. Now I know what he wants and his expectations are totally doable for me, whereas my own just overwhelm me.