Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Two times the love

The only thing better than being a mom is being a mom of two! And I'm sure I'll change that each time I have another sweet baby. I used to blog a lot about how hard of a baby Connor was...or at least I feel like I did. That kid had COLIC. I looked at moms who also had babies who didn't look totally beat and wondered how they did it. My neighbor in Cedar had a baby about 6 months after me and she told me how she had gone to see the midnight showing of the newest Twilight movie. She timed the feedings and went to the movie with her friends. It was her THIRD baby. I had NO comprehension of how she mustered the energy or desire to go to a midnight movie. But I sorta get it now. She had a good baby that had no colic! Connor was round the clock crying, feeding, and more crying. He didn't sleep in his own cradle for the first few months, rather in our arms or in the middle of our bed. It was really REALLY hard. I was prepared for that with Parker. I was even prepared mentally for the agonizing feedings that would accompany this new baby. I had a REALLY hard time breastfeeding Connor. I was still crying a month after he was born cuz it hurt so bad. They were bleeding, and I thought about to fall off- literally.

WOW what a difference this baby is! Parker is the polar opposite of Connor. He has been on a sleeping schedule that he created on his own for the past week and a half at least. Funny thing is even with daylight savings he is STILL basically on the same schedule! Asleep for the night by 10:30 or 11, and up for a feeding at 4, then asleep til about 7 and then a nice long morning nap. Sometimes it fluctuates and he'll sleep even longer, til 6 or so which is AWESOME. That usually happens if he has a good feeding and poops before bed. And he sleeps in his cradle. Rarely in my arms, and if he does fall asleep in my arms he doesn't wake up when I put him in his bed.

And the feedings- yes they are sore but NOTHING like before. I think I had to condition these stupid nipples of mine! Guess what? I have actual scars on can see where the damage was done with Connor. I don't know if they are just better now cuz I've done it before and the worst is over, or if it's since the weather isn't as cold and they aren't as dried out...or if I just know what I'm doing more now. The nurse at the hospital told me I had great technique. Well that's cuz despite what everyone SAID...I DID know how to latch my baby on...I just have (Let's be blunt as the nurse said this very thing to me) really big boobs and he has a very small mouth hahaha. Ok nuff of that. But seriously feedings are a joy and Parker has something Connor didn't have at this age--fat rolls on his thighs! Haha they are small but they are there! I'm so proud. I prayed so hard to have better success with nursing and this is just what I needed. I feel like such a good mom and like I have a better perspective on the whole experience. My mom NEVER had the pain I had which makes me realize some women are lucky and it's only sore for a little while. Then there's takes a good 6 weeks - 2 months to not feel a stab of pain! :-)

Parker is my answer to prayers. Everything about his little existence has been so EASY. We got pregnant with him on the first try, he had a flawless pregnancy, easy birth and now he's a gem of a newborn. Thank goodness cuz if we had a repeat of Connor we might be DONE. Now thank goodness we both want more babies! (Assuming we ever get a job and can provide for more chillens).

I had a special moment with Parker today. Connor was at lunch with his aunt Desi and I had just changed a big poopy diaper and gotten Parker all dressed. He was just happy as can be hanging out on my bed so I started talking to him. He was looking me right in the eye and listening to my every word. And then he gave me the cutest little smile! I thought it was a fluke at first but I KNOW he was smiling at me. Then a minute later he did it again! I sent a text to Ben and my parents and they all said yeah it was probably poop...but as mentioned above he had already DONE that ha ha. Mommies just know and I KNOW he smiled just for me. Ben is in California and said "I always miss something" because when Connor started cooing he was in New York. Even my mom who is at work said she's sad she missed it. But I personally think those smiles were just for me...I am after all the one who feeds him and holds him the very most and takes care of him all day! He knew that smile was just what mommy needed to get through the day after last night. Connor kept us up kicking us in our bed all night...oy. Again- Parker is our better sleeper haha.

But let's not make Connor out to be too horrible...he weaned himself off of his binki. That's something this kid has always been a champ at. He transitions well with EVERYTHING. The bottle wasn't hard to take away, and he was always a great eater (now he just wants to play and hates to sit there and eat) and now he's tossed his binkis. He still steals Parker's a lot and chews on them. But he started realizing bed time and binki go hand in hand so he would throw the binki out of the crib and think that would make bed time go away. NOPE! He even chewed the nipple part off of the binki a couple times. So that's that. I know he has a stash somewhere and probably sucks on them for a minute when we're gone but after 2 days of screaming in his bed for every nap and bed time he is finally adjusting and didn't cry today. Speaking of BED...that's another awesome treasure from Connor, he has not yet tried to get out of his crib. He will scream in there for an hour sometimes and still not even try to get out. Which is funny cuz he has a night stand right by his crib and it'd be REALLY easy I think to try it. But thankfully he doesn't. His room doubles as our storage/misc junk room right now and there'd be WAY too many things for him to get into. We're going to have to figure that out though...we bought him a big kid bed for Christmas. Can't wait to post about that! Anyway, in spite of his awesome tantrums- Connor is SUCH a good big brother.

He loves to throw away diapers, bring me clean ones for himself and Parker, throw other things away, put dishes in the sink (sorta scary sometimes) clean up his toys, and talk sweetly to Parker when he's crying and mommy can't run right over to get him out of his swing. He is so tender with the baby and touches him softly and carefully. He is not even 2 yet and has such a respect and love for his baby brother. Makes me want to cry. I know Parker was meant to come into our lives right now. We've had struggles and his sweet spirit has just brought joy and love into our home. My sisters love both of our kids and have fun keeping Connor occupied when I need the help, or holding Parker when he's not fussy :).

My mom and Ben both got hired for seasonal part time jobs at Deseret Book and it has been a totally different life the past 3 days. Not having them here has forced me to be more assertive with my life and taking care of my kids. The first day my sisters basically watched Connor but yesterday I made dinner and actually felt pretty great. And today both boys are napping as I type this and I'm going to join them if I ever stop...

I'm so thankful Ben got at least a little job to help pass time and keep us out of debt. He's really enjoying it so far. He is in California today for a job interview. We want this one SOOOOO badly so we'll see what happens. I told him the other two jobs were just practice rounds for this one. Man I really hope this is it.

If you read all of this you're amazing. Mostly it was for my own memory and history. :)
I really should get a picture of me with my boys...the only ones I have are in the hospital. hmmm....