Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Not good news

So we have had some heartbreak. It's just our life's story. We had a job offer. In fact this post was originally drafted to tell everyone the great news. We were elated. They wanted Ben and were so excited for him to start. One misinterpreted question later...we're just as screwed as we always were.  I won't say the company. But they are local. We were so happy we'd be able to make good money while staying in town. Things were really falling into place for us. Well...Ben called back to accept their offer and said "So is there any wiggle room in the salary? I was hoping for a bit more but just wanted to see if there was any room for that..." And that was ALL. They said "We'll check into it and let you know." That was a Wednesday. By Friday they still hadn't called back so Ben called them. They said "Well we can't pay you that much so our offer is off the table." JUST LIKE THAT OUR DREAMS WERE DASHED AGAIN. We hadn't made a demand for more...just asked if there was a possibility of more. We would have had to pay out of pocket for health insurance, around $650 a month so we were just hoping to have a bit more to make up the difference. It wasn't's a standard question you ask when you've been offered a job. So that's that. It's gone. The HR lady said she'd talk to the manager and let him know. The weekend went by. We got to agonize and pray our guts out. We fasted, we prayed, we cried, we got mad, we got sick, we got depressed, we got hopeful. We went through all the emotions. Monday went by and no word. So Ben called again. "She's trying to decide whether she wants to offer you the job again..." which means WHAT?! Are we in Kindergarten? Is this real life? What exactly did we do that was so OFFENSIVE and merits you to THINK about it? So Ben said "I think I was misunderstood...I am PERFECTLY fine with your offer, I was only asking if there was any room for negotiation." She said, yes I understand that...I'll talk to her and see if she's made up her mind." So that was over 24 hours ago...NOTHING. Are people really REALLY this inconsiderate? Do we live in a different universe where people aren't nice to one another and forget that we are all human and have needs? They know we have a family. They were excited about Ben's skills and wanted him for the job. And just like that they took it away. Or so it seems. I've had such a trial of faith it makes me sick. I have cried so much today my eyes are puffy. I have to keep carrying on because life goes on. I have kids...I have a photography business and clients who need me. I have a husband I have to that's it.

We go in at 7:45 a.m. tomorrow for Parker's MRI. I am nervous, because he has to go under anesthesia. It carries risks. I'm sure he'll be ok. The doc just wants a better look at his brain to figure out why his head is bigger than normal, his soft spot is still very big and open, and parts of his skull aren't closed where they should be. His ventricle is bigger than the others and they don't know what that means. I really have nothing to report. He had an ultrasound on his head last week to see what the deal was and that's when they found the ventricle issue. Needless to say it's been a long week. I am exhausted in every way. We are going to California Thursday to visit and it will be a much needed and wanted trip. Here are some pics of the boys...because no post is complete without pictures. :) Pray for us please.

 Connor's a warlock...pretty powerful stuff!

Love this adorable little face!!!