Life has been interesting lately. I have learned a lot of lessons and have felt the crunch of trials hitting me hard. I have been humbled time and time again and really started to feel like a "grown up". Which is hard to do when you live with your parents again and fight with your teenage sisters. It's hard to feel like a big kid. But I am, because I get to deal with big kid things. I am a mother of two wonderful but sometimes impossible little boys! I love it- and I don't like it at the same time.
Let me start with Tennessee. Ben almost got a job there. Almost has become one of our most frequented words. We "almost" have gotten a lot of jobs. But this one was better than the others because I actually wanted to live there. It was a cute town about an hour away from Nashville- called Sewanee. I was excited to live in a part of the country where we'd never even visited. Well it didn't happen. They hired someone not even close to what they were looking for. When that happens we just KNOW it wasn't meant to be. The Lord doesn't want us in Tennessee. So....what now?
So we decided let's just do things on our own. Ben will start consulting and freelancing for non profit organizations, and I am doing more with my photography business. I have booked one wedding so far, and have been doing more family shoots. I am loving it, but still have my days where I wonder....do I really want to have to work while I have these two babies? I mean yes it's part time and very fun- but my kids are so much work and I hate leaving them sometimes. It is a burden to have to leave my little two year old and 4 month old- even if it's with my mom. But I have really pushed myself to progress and I love it a lot. So I'm doing it- just not full time yet. It's VERY part time.
The next thing is-- we went to California a week or so ago. We haven't been down there since Connor was 8 months old..so a year and a half. He LOVED the visit. And so did I! It was relaxing and fun. Connor played with grandma Tyrrel and made a bird feeder out of a pine cone, picked fresh oranges off the tree and had LOTS of space to run around and nobody to annoy! Ben's sister Breanna was only there for the last 2 days so it was just Connor and his grandparents. He had a lot of fun...and we got to have a little afternoon off. Sunday just happened to be the annual Opera Pacific reunion luncheon. The old Chairman of the Board still puts on an annual lunch for all old employees of the opera to come and see each other and reminisce. We've never been able to go- and weren't planning on it- but happened to be down that weekend. So we left both boys with grandma and drove down. Driving around in our old neighborhood made me SO sad. We really had such fun times down there. Our newlywed months were SO fun. Going to Disneyland, working full time and having money to burn, the beach not far away....oh man. I was missing it badly. Then we drove down to the club where the luncheon was. It was called the Balboa Bay Beach club. It was- in a word- FANCY. Like the cheapest thing on the menu was $28- and that was for eggs Benedict. Thankfully we didn't have to pay- it was all covered by Mr. Musco. At first I was almost giddy--excited to be in this atmosphere again. Rubbing elbows with the wealthy high to do people. It was so fun! Everything was so nice- the flowers were real, the drinks were fancy....it was awesome.
By the end of the three hour lunch I was over it. I had sat across from Mrs. Musco and heard her talk about her grandkids, her life--issues that the rich society face. It was exhausting feeling like I had to hang on her every word- because she is rich and was paying for this meal. It reminded me how I actually HATE this lifestyle. Then to my left was Mary- OP's old secretary. She is so SO sweet and very talkative when you get her going. Her life was so REAL. She takes care of grandkids because of wayward children. She is helping out with a grandson who has autism and goes on walks for autism. She rambled for like 15 minutes and I wasn't anxious for her to stop- I was enjoying hearing her talk- over hearing the rich lady talk. It made me realize how much I've changed. But maybe I was always like this.
Having a family has made me appreciate simplicity. Everyone was proud of their jobs and accomplishments. I was proud to say that I have had 2 kids since the opera closed. They were amazed that we had two! We haven't had work in 3 1/2 years. That's a long time....a very long time. But life is so simple. We have hardly any extra expenses. We don't have i-phones, i-pads, or anything very new. We have nice things don't get me wrong...but we live a very simple life. I love it. I love my trials- they have truly made me stronger!!!
Life is really hard right now. I find myself feeling discouraged more than encouraged lately. I have a hard time doing the mundane things- but they somehow get done. People said being a mom was hard but I had no idea HOW hard. It's rough!!! But then I think of others...like my best friend Lauren who has tried for years to have a baby and it just isn't happening. And I hurt for her, and it makes me appreciate these mommy days where I literally pull my hair out. Love you La...and you can take my kids for a week whenever you want! :)
I was walking yesterday and saw my Honda parked in the driveway...and at first thought "I can't wait til we have enough money to buy a minivan.." then I realized people make do with MUCH less and far worse. We have two functioning vehicles...we don't need anything more right now. It made me realize how easy it is to be waiting for the next step in life instead of enjoying the phases we are currently in.
Lots of life lessons at the Tyrrel household...more than I can even post! I have so many pics to post of what's been going on. I feel so behind...I just need to get them uploaded! SO the next post will be all pictures!