I think about them often. They are in my dreams often. Once I had a dream in which my grandpa came and asked me how my life was, and what I was up to. It was right before my first wedding, and I excitedly told him about how I got to go to the temple soon to be married! It was a special dream for me. I have since had many dreams, some meaningful, some just weird- but they make me miss him and wish he had lived a little longer. I had fun memories with him from my childhood. He'd chase me around the yard with a tarantula in a jar, and tell me if I was outside with a cough that I would catch pneumonia. He loved to tease me and the other kids- by sticking out his dentures even when we passionately protested. But he loved us all. He was a sweet man. I think I cried harder at his funeral than I've ever cried in my life. It was my first experience with death, and someone I missed so much. I'm grateful that I still get dreams to remind me of him.
My grandma was such a character...she was always asking us the same questions. My frequent question/comment was "You're hair looks so pretty! Did you change your hair???" ha ha..she kept us all entertained. One of my fondest memories of her is when I was going to SUU the first time, and she was so concerned with my well being. She called and asked if she could take me out for a burger. We went to Arby's and got sandwiches and ate them at my uncle Steven's house, then she took me home and gave me $20 and a box of hot chocolate packets. She said something like, "You're in college and I know how hard it is to be a poor college student!". I knew she didn't have a lot of money herself, and this was a sacrifice. I'll never forget it, and I'll always be so grateful for that moment I had with her. My sisters and cousins probably won't remember her the same way I always will.
This next part is hard to write-- I'm getting emotional as I type...
My grandma had finally gotten her life in order, financially and spiritually. She invited everyone over to her new house for a BBQ, but I didn't get to go because I was in California for my first visit to Ben's. I had gotten to tell grandma about Ben before I met him, and told her I knew I was going to marry him. She was excited to meet him. Anyway, I missed the BBQ. And she passed away a few days later. My heart aches to know I missed that event, but I'm SO thankful that the last time I saw her was a good memory for me. She had once again given me money and a new shirt in honor of my starting up college again. We had visited a little and I have no regrets.
Her death was unexpected. She had outpatient surgery and passed away in her sleep that evening in my aunt's home. It was shocking for us all, and the first person I called was Ben, who immediately offered to come out to support me. I initially said no, but then decided it would be very nice to see him again and to have him there to help me. We ended up singing together for the funeral, an event that is in our own personal history book. We fell so deeply in love that weekend, because Ben realized how true my feelings were for him, and I saw him make sacrifices for me for the first of many times.
Right before our wedding, I was driving through the gorge on my way home from a Cali visit. A song came on, I can't remember which, but it reminded me of my grandma and my grandpa. And suddenly the lights shining into the gorge were so beautiful and radiant, that I couldn't help but cry. I missed them SO much but knew their spirits were close by. I felt them in the temple on our wedding day. I feel their love often as I go about life. I dream of them both, and I love and miss them dearly.
I'm so thankful for the plan of salvation and my eternal blessings that will allow me to see my family again someday. It is wonderful to know they are on the Lord's side, fighting valiantly for truth and righteousness, and that they provided strong principles for their posterity to follow and build upon!
I love you grandpa and grandma!!!
2 comments:
That was a beautiful post to read. I love that picture with you and grandpa. I miss him too. He would always tell me, "you sure look good in them glasses!"
so sweet, kirst. i feel the same pangs of missing, along with the relief of knowing the current and eternal state of peace my grandparents are in as well. sounds all too familiar, really.
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