I love...

I LOVE...

~Binkis all over the house...in the bed, everywhere baby has been, there is a binki waiting
~The way Connor smacks his lips ever so slightly when he's ready to eat
~How he looks over towards Ben's side of the bed when he snores or moves, in the middle of our late night feeding, almost as if he's thinking "oh, is dad here? I thought it was just us mom..."
~How he scrunches his nose when I pinch his cheeks
~How I know exactly when he's about to poop because he gets focused and quiet..ha ha
~Waking up to the sound of him farting or pooping. Atta boy!
~His fascination with lights..he could stare at the light in our room for hours
~He turns when he sees me walk into the room or hears my voice
~His eyes that I'm convinced will be BLUE
~The little sounds he makes when he's just finished eating and I'm burping him on my shoulder...right into my ear. Melts my heart!
~How intense his post sleep stretches are...he gets really into them! ha ha
~When he gets SO excited he kicks his legs and flails his hands right before a big COO!
~He's all MINE...

What a blessing this baby is! I hope this week is a GREAT week! :-)

Today...

Today I felt like a really REALLY bad mom...

The day started out AWESOME..we slept til 10:10! I was so stoked to begin my day...feed the babe, work out on Wii Fit, then after he fell asleep for his nap I was going to load him up and go to WalMart, the bank, and maybe Walgreens...then I was going to come home, do laundry, clean the bathrooms, clean the kitchen, cook a chicken and make an awesome dinner. Mother/wife of the year type stuff!

Instead, I fed him, he pooped. I worked out on Wii Fit til he felt ignored and then fed him again. He pooped, so I changed him. I tried getting him to sleep...he pooped. I changed him again. A little while later he pooped AGAIN. By now it was funny and I laughed with him..what a silly boy! So by this time he's sick of being changed and gets fussy...so he eats again. The rest is a little blurry..I know I changed a total of 5-6 poopy diapers, did NOT get a nap out of him, did NOT go to any of those places mentioned above...and by 3:30 I was crying. I didn't so much care about not getting STUFF done, but it was SO hard trying to figure out why he was still fussy! I had fed, changed, loved and cuddled him ALL DAY. Why was he still so fussy?! My back hurt, my laundry was dirty, and blah blah blah. And it overwhelmed me to think that Ben is SICK and even when he got home I couldn't have any relief! Here's what I learned:

Even though I've heard it said a LOT..those little things do NOT matter. Laundry and dirty house will still be there tomorrow.
Babies totally CAN sense stress. It helps just to cuddle them even when they are crying and don't seem to appreciate it.
A mommy's work is never done...babies don't take breaks from being babies! But taking care of one is still the BEST job. I wouldn't change it for a thing.
You have to be grateful for 3 minute 1 inch deep luke warm baths because sometimes that's ALL the relaxation you're gonna get.
Going to the bathroom is a luxury....
Eating is a luxury...

Seeing Connor finally fall asleep in my arms was the sweetest thing that happened all day. I love that boy more than ANYTHING. I sometimes miss holding him when he's asleep in his cradle. I love when he first wakes up and is so delirious and happy just being picked up. That fresh baby smell is UNBEATABLE.

I hope for a better, easier tomorrow...but if it's not at least I'm still living out my dream of being a mother. Connor and Benjamin are my dreams come true...I am SO lucky and SO blessed. I had to hum the song "Did You Think to Pray" and "Count Your Many Blessings" today..and really it helped. Thank goodness for the power of prayer to calm even our worst anxieties and stress!

That's all...I think he MIGHT be awake again. :-)

Cousins and Sundays

Today we tried for the second time to go to church since Connor was born. I had to wait at least a month to take him out, doctors orders, then last week Ben was gone to NYC! He had a great time and brought back some fun presents for us..a onesie for Connor that says "Party in my room at 2 a.m...bring your own bottle!" ha ha..love it. He brought me two purses and some fancy scarves...and my FAVORITE..roasted almonds and cashews from a street vendor. Now I really believe he was in NY..I love those nuts. Connor also got a piggy bank that says I <3 style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 247px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQybiWtrSKeGbmhCJFZ0ks162dbK3Rbe28HKqT2y8COz7D9ryJED9e_7YaSYZCWNTkobuCv41yokMljMWvWYnBBttwHKZ0wgIqSCzW3gA7kEYbnnTnNGWCNYYNtMiLj67TEOmffowhfty6/s320/IMG_2280-1.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5427872725262473602" border="0">And Connor looked way too cute not to take a pic... I also wanted to add a picture of how cute he looked yesterday in his little hat..ha ha I love it!
And for posterity..some cute pictures of Connor and his cousin Tanner. Ben's sister and bro in law and their baby who is 6 months old came and stayed with us for a few days during Christmas on their way to MINNESOTA! They moved there for a few months and we do NOT envy the cold spell they get to live through! Good luck guys! :-)

And lastly..Connor is smiling! They are few and far between, but they are happening! Today he was laying in his diaper about to get dressed and I was talking to him..singing a little actually..I love the song "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard"...cuz I have Connor's milkshakes everyday ha ha..anyway he likes it so he smiled at his silly momma! And last night he gave Ben a big smile as well! SO FUN!!!

Life....

Well my last post was titled Baby's First Christmas but it was a lot more encompassing than that...it was VERY long! I'll try to make this more concise...

Ben left Friday early from Vegas for New York for a week! He had to go for a school trip, they are going to a conference and seeing some shows and touring some companies while they are there. He's the only one on the trip who isn't drinking and he says it's making him miss us even more! The last time he was there I was with him and we were getting our engagement pictures taken...so I'm sure he does miss me a lot! I wish I could be there with him...until he tells me how cold it is and then I'm happy to be spending the week in warm St. George! I didn't want to be home alone so I drove down here with a huge load of stuff required for Connor and I and we are letting my family take care of us! :-) So far he has slept really great and only kept me up late once!

Updates on Connor baby:

~He rolls himself onto his side and with a little help onto his belly! I think it's WAY too early for that but he's a strong baby!

~He has started cracking little half smiles and we can tell he's trying SO hard to get a really big one out!

~He coos a little bit- again we can tell he's trying very hard to get out some loud happy noises! ~He turns his head really fast sometimes when he hears my voice...he also turns when he sees little things out of his peripheral vision which is getting better every day!

~He's a wiggle worm, right now my dad is holding him and he's just flailing his arms and legs like crazy!

I JUST MISSED A BIG SMILE! I feel like I need to stay by his side at all times so I don't miss a single thing! It gets to be exhausting!

At his last appointment on Tuesday he weighed 7 lbs 15 oz..still hasn't broken the 8 pound marker..ha ha..he's in the 7th percentile for that.

He is 22 inches long...so getting tall FAST! He's very long and skinny...in the 61th percentile for height. His head circumference is in the 41th percentile...15 cm around!

I know it's hard for Ben to be gone and missing all this stuff...so I'm taking some video with my phone. I need to get the real camera out so we can get some fun things up on here!

When normal life resumes, it will consist of Ben back in school, with a little less of a crazy schedule..classes on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, and working 20 hours a week still at Utah Shakespearean. I am LOVING being a stay at home mom! I still cut myself some slack and try not to get overwhelmed when the house isn't spotless, but thank heavens for a sling so I can still do things when he wants to be held!!! I have been enjoying taking him out for walks a lot lately, since it was a bit warmer last week and St. George is lots warmer too.

I am also happy that he has started sleeping on his own at night, in his cradle! We tried that at first when he was born but he did NOT like it. I think the secret to our baby is he loves to sleep on his side. When he is on his back he wakes right up..I think because he can't breathe as well...he's always a bit congested!

And since a post is never complete without pictures, here are some that we took with our camera...and our Christmas card! :-)