I just have a lot of feelings...

Remember that line from "Mean Girls"? I found myself thinking that today as I sat eating my lunch. Leftover homemade Cafe Rio...delish! I am pretty excited about the new developments in Ben's potential job! He will be flying out June 6th for an interview, so we'll probably have our ultrasound June 8th. It'll be a crazy week...hopefully full of fun, exciting news! :-) And that's where my "feelings" come in. I was so set on moving out mid June. But I doubt it'll be that fast now that it's still 2 weeks til he interviews. I look around at my disaster zone of a house and instead of being relieved that I still have a month at least to get packed up....I don't want to wait! I just wanna get out of here! I know the weather is bad everywhere but I feel like Cedar is the worst. Snow in May? COME ON. And this constant rain is really getting to me. I just want to go outside and exercise my fat pregnant self.

Speaking of...I am SO much bigger this time than I was with Connor. I know that's normal...but honestly by the end of the day I look like I'm 30 weeks pregnant. It's awful. But feeling the baby move makes it worth it. It's a very active baby so far, moves as much as I can remember Connor moving at this point! I'm blessed to feel my babies move pretty early on. I'm a worry wart and that movement keeps me sane.

Let's see...more feelings....I'm really tired because I haven't been sleeping well. I'm in that weird phase of can't sleep on your stomach but if you angle the body pillow just right you can sorta fake it...so when I toss and turn the body pillow comes with me. And I have already started getting restless legs. And they even hit when I'm asleep. So last night, while I did have time to dream of tornadoes, hair salons and the like, I feel like I didn't sleep at all. I know I get worse when I'm anxious...like the other night I got lost in our room. I was up to go pee and somehow got turned around in our room. I was sleep walking sort of...cuz I can remember it but I also know I did NOT have my eyes open or I would have quickly figured out that the closet was NOT the entrance into the bathroom. Ben woke up to a re-arranged bedroom. Whoops.

I am looking forward to all that moving on with life entails...a new place to call home, new friends, new everything. But man I'm nervous. It's not cheap to live out there. We're most likely going to end up in a three family home...which is so weird to me. Three families living on a different floor of a big house? I thought it was hard to be attached at the garage to someone...oy. And then there's the fact that my aunt pointed out New Haven is the 4th most dangerous city in the U.S. um....... (Ben said it's only certain parts...which doesn't comfort me in the least).

I need to get on here and post about Easter, our anniversary and all that jazz. For now my innermost thoughts will have to do. I hate these blustery days....

A new week

So last week was pretty much the pits...we sat at home most of the day for 4 days straight waiting for that phone call...and it never came. And to add to the anxiety it SNOWED and rained all week! GRRRR..By the end of each evening we were SO anxious we could barely function. But each day/night we got an email from one of his references letting him know they had talked to them that day and that it had gone well and sounded promising. So that helped appease our nerves. We knew they were still doing things to pursue Ben. After Friday afternoon came Ben decided to send another follow up email to them to check on the status of things. The man who has been checking his references wrote back and let him know that he'd be hearing from the Dean soon. So that's a good sign....if it were bad news I think we would know by now, and since the Dean would be the one to hire him we're crossing everything..fingers, toes, hair, EVERYTHING ha ha. At this point it's Yale or BUST! And Ben just called to tell me that one of his references they called told him this morning that they said it was between Ben and another candidate, and the other candidate had a background in dance. They both have strong backgrounds, but we are hoping since Ben's background is more in line with the job he will be chosen. OY!

So...onto another week. Connor has been driving us craaaaazzzzyyyyyyy this past week. I think it has been worse since Ben has been home and it throws off our routine. It's great to have him home but Connor just gets more hyper and busy for some reason and we both end up exhausted by the end of the day!

I had a hard 2 weeks trying to adjust to this new life that will be mine forever now...no school...no job--just mommyhood. And I LOVE mommyhood...don't get me wrong. But it's weird to have nothing else to do. I asked Ben a few days after graduation- "What do people do? Like what am I going to do all day long?!" I'm slowly getting into a groove and realizing it isn't much different, I just don't have the stress of assignments being due, and at night I can just veg instead of study. I'm trying to line up some goals for myself, and putting my life into perspective. Since there's a great chance we could be moving across the country and I'll have to start all over again in terms of friends, ward members and all that jazz I'm preparing myself mentally to deal with that anxiety. I'm SO excited to move on with our lives, but of course it's SCARY!

I've been eating like crap for the past month or more. I HATE being in the kitchen when I'm pregnant and I thought it'd wear off after the first trimester, but it hasn't gotten all the way better. So since I didn't want to cook and Ben was too busy to cook at the last part of the semester, we got into this bad habit of eating out...A LOT. In the past I have gotten sick of eating out, but not this time. I could eat out every single day and not bat an eye. I love fried food, I love pizza, and I love pizza factory salad bar. I'm outta control! So this week is truly a NEW week because I'm getting into better habits. WAY better habits. I realized that I feed Connor SO well and he eats healthier than anyone in our house so I'm going to start eating like him! He has a vegetable, fruit, whole grain, dairy and protein with every meal (no veggies at breakfast usually though) So this morning I made us both some scrambled eggs, he had fruit and I had a fruit smoothie, he had Kix and I had a piece of toast. I felt SO full and way better about myself after even just one good meal! So let the good times roll. Today I'm going to make Cafe Rio beef here at home and we'll have yummy home made food for dinner!

So there ya have it...it's a new week. Hopefully better weather and lots of fun with my sweet Connor!

In other news, Connor went to the dentist for the first time...SO funny! The video quality is so bad...it looks much better on my phone. I'm so mad I forgot the camera...grr. Anyway, this is what I did get!

In the first clip he started talking to the dentist while he had the mirror in his mouth. He was all excited and had a lot to say! I just loved seeing him laying on the dentist chair. There was a TV above his head in the ceiling but he wasn't all that interested...he was just happy to be there! I love this kid to pieces!

What's that noise?

GROOOOOOOAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNN....

Yeah that's the noise that can be heard coming from our house.

Because we are waiting.....I keep hearing the Jeopardy music in my head.

They said they'd call him "tomorrow night" and this was yesterday morning. They are two hours ahead of us. So we assumed they'd call by 3:00 since that would be 5:00 there.

No news is good news....right? I sure hope so.

He got an email from one of his references at 2 saying that one of the people he interviewed with had called. SO that's also a good sign...they're checking his references!

They said they can only fly two people out for interviews face to face. I pray to heaven that he is one of the two. They said they still had "a bunch" of interviews after they spoke with Ben....but that doesn't usually mean they have many people at all. According to people we've asked that is.

They spent the first five minutes of his interview raving about his experience, the way he had presented himself on paper, and how uncanny it was that his experience matched up so well with the job requirements. (that's what I've been saying for weeks now...) They asked great questions, he gave great answers, and he felt he even asked intelligent questions of them. It was about 45 minutes in all, with no technical difficulties on Ben's part (they had a few on their end..glad it wasn't our issue!). Ben said he wanted to puke when they signed on and he waited for them to call.

So...while my instincts still say that he HAS to get this job....there are so many variables and the waiting is making us both SICK! I don't think Ben's had anything to eat but a bowl of cereal and bagel today...I made myself eat lunch for the baby's sake....oy.

Speaking of baby, he/she is doing well and measuring great! I can get my ultrasound at any time....they said if I wait til I'm 20 weeks I can get it in 3D. Everyone says to wait, and honestly I'm ok waiting. But if Ben gets hired we may have to high tail it over to the hospital to find out before we pack the moving van!

I got moving boxes today....but now I can't bring myself to pack them. How do you pack when you're pregnant and tired all the time?! On top of that Connor is only taking one nap these days...which is good in that it means longer sleeping at bed time..lately it's been about 14 hours straight....ahhhhh.....

We've been here two years and I feel like packing it all up is going to be a horribly hard feat. Anyone wanting to come help is welcome! :-)

I'll keep the updates coming as regularly as I can...it's 3:18 and still no call. AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A possibility...

One time when Ben and I were dating I was about to head home from Orange County back to Utah. I had never driven home before, at this point I had either flown or been a passenger in the car. I had made it there ok, but on the way home I got on the 91 WEST instead of EAST...and I went an hour out of my way. Ben couldn't figure out what I had done until I told him I was passing Knotsberry Farm....sadly I had to turn around and go back the 40 miles I had gone on top of the 6 hours I still had ahead. How does this apply to my life today? Sometimes we get on a road and think we know where it is taking us, only to find we have been headed in the wrong direction for a very long time. But you never know what that hour out of your way saved you from. Who knows why that happened....I never will. But it is a funny story to tell and totally applies to where I feel like we are in our lives today.

Some of you may have seen my Facebook status about Ben having an interview at Yale. You may be confused since according to this blog author, we are living in St. George come June. Right??? Probably WRONG. I say probably because nothing is set in stone yet. I am a little afraid to get ahead of myself, so this post will simply be a possibility post.

That job that was so incredible in St. George has slowly taken a downward spiral into "NOT what we signed up for" land. So a month ago Ben started looking for other jobs. And he found IT. The DREAM job. And you know what? From the time we started talking about it and if he should apply I felt like fresh air had been breathed into my lungs. Ben felt the same way and we both expressed the same relief at this job. We weren't sure if it was just a relief to have an alternative to the roller coaster he has been riding with his other job, or if it was just SO right. I think it's a little of both. Well he applied....and 5 days later got an email saying his resume made it past HR and was going to the hiring committee...and if he was one of the most qualified he'd be called for an interview. I KNEW he would be called. I was SO sure. Let me tell you why...

This job is Manager of Yale Opera in Connecticut. Yeah...THAT Yale. Everything the job requires Ben has, and then some. He has the right degree, the right work experience, and if his resume and the job posting were one of those matching puzzles, it would be a perfect fit. No exaggeration. And it's the first job in his whole life to be that precisely suited for him. Yale must know this too, because Thursday morning they called. They wanted a phone interview. But at the end they asked if he had Skype, and since he does, they arranged to have the interview that way. To illustrate how dedicated this man is...he started looking up tutorials on how to have a good Skype interview, tips and things to be careful of. He spent the weekend putting a portfolio together, preparing everything he might possibly need in this interview. I've never seen someone so invested in anything.

So tomorrow morning is the big event. At 9:30 a.m. he'll be interviewing for his most desired job in his life. Everything he's done in his life has led up to a job like this, and if this is THE job...then our lives will be blessed in many many ways. Good benefits, assistance for buying a home, a beautiful town, close to our favorite city in America, NYC...and many other reasons we have been falling in love with this dream. We made a dream board months ago for a different job that was actually in NY, and many of the things on our board fit with this life we could be living soon.

I'm so SO nervous, but I know Ben will do a fantastic job and they'd be crazy not to hire him. I have a really good feeling about things, but we've had many disappointments with jobs in our life together so are trying to not expect TOO much.

I wanted to post today to ask for prayers and good thoughts. I don't think we have ever wanted anything more (except for our kids :) ). So if you read this before the interview, think about us...and if it's after then send your good vibes to Connecticut where they will be making the decision...

I'll update tomorrow! Doctors appointment for baby Tyrrel the second....can't wait to find out when our ultrasound is! :-)

Have a great night!

Connor is graduating...

Today was a big day...full of tears, laughter and excitement. A day that has been long anticipated and finally came and is almost over...and we have even more excitement to share! Connor is graduating too.....

He looks a little like an orphan child...he was all out boy today playing outside and not wearing pants! :-)

October 23, 2011!!!

Yep, we're pregnant! I have kept it secret from pretty much everyone for quite a while...since I am 16 weeks along and can almost NEVER keep secrets. I told a few people that I see everyday, and some random moments along the way when I told friends who happened to ask. :) But for most people, including my grandparents, this was the first they've heard of it! We are pretty stoked and can't wait to welcome a new baby into our family this fall!

We think he really is happy about it...but we'll find out later! :-)

And here are some fun pics of our grand day. It was an early start, as graduation began at 8:30 a.m., but we had a lot of supportive family who I was so happy to hear cheering in the audience. Connor wore his cap and gown (of course) and it was a proud moment for both Ben and I. I was the first to walk across stage to get my diploma (I almost puked when they told me I'd be first) and Ben was the last...isn't that so clandestine? Or something? Ha ha...it was awesome and went by very fast! I cried the moment I heard the graduation march music begin...and continued to bawl very hard until I made it up onto the stage and sat down. Hormones and the whole experience were too much for this lady to handle! I cried again when Ben was hooded for his Masters...I was so proud of him. He worked so incredibly hard in this program and I'm thankful for his dedication to to it well!!! I love him and am so happy we got to graduate together!!!!

Before the big moment...

Ben and the other MFA members speaking during the ceremony!

WE DID IT!!!