Do they make a pill for this?

I'm not sure if it's from the pent up stress that being unemployed brings or WHAT, but I cannot CANNOT stop crying! It comes on so fast I can't stop it, and it goes on for what seems like forever.  And the things that trigger it are totally random! Like today I was watching old home movies, and it was from 12 years ago when my cousin left for a mission. I BAWLED.  He's been home for a WHILE now. And I cry watching commercials.  I cry when I read two lines of a poem.  I cry in every meeting at church.  I cry telling a story that has been told a hundred times! I even cried telling my mom that Robyn's fridge had been ruined when all the food had gone rotten due to the fridge breaking. Not sure why- but that just really got to me! And NO I'm not pregnant. Trust me I wish I could blame it on that. 

 It's been going on for a while but just gets worse.  And when I really DO need to cry, like the other day I was talking about how hard this whole part of life is and I really couldn't control it--it's SO frustrating! I wanted to talk calmly, but the water works kept going.  And at Marley and Me I cried so hard I was dry heaving! (But honestly, how cute is that dog?!)

SERIOUSLY?! What gives!? Sometimes I wish I were a man and could be totally strong in situations.  My whole family looks at me whenever anything remotely emotional happens, anticipating the tears.  And it almost makes me cry harder! UGH.  

Anyway...tonight I went to Enrichment night and the topic was visiting teaching.  I always love those stories.  The talks were REALLY great- and of course I cried.  I love feeling the spirit from other women and knowing that other ladies know what I feel.  They have been through struggles and it reminds me that I'm not alone.  My life could be MUCH worse.  But it's hard when things don't go at all how you planned.  I know it's time for Ben and I to get our butts to the Temple.  I've been feeling the prompting for a while now, and when we were GOING TO GO--the temple here closed for cleaning/maintenance.  I have been in a rut, not staying as close to the spirit as I could.  It's hard to be diligent when life seems to be crumbling sometimes.  You'd think that would be the easiest time- but after having a bad experience in our old ward we just became lazy and forgot to seek the spirit.  But I feel my heart stirring again and perhaps that's been the cause of the crying.  I'm grateful that Ben wants to make sure we go to our ward every week to ensure that we don't get caught in the same snare of not going to all our meetings.  I'm thankful for him and the man he is.  

I'm thankful for all of you whose blogs I read that aren't afraid to speak of your testimony.  Sometimes I get scared to share these feelings and thoughts in case someone I don't know reads it- or someone who isn't of my faith.  But in reality those are the ones I should HOPE read this!! I really do know the church is true- and while it's members are not always perfect- there are some real angels among us and I'm thankful for the ones who are around  me.  I love my family and I'm SO grateful they have taken us in.  It's been hard to find a groove, but I'm SO glad we have a place to call home.  I love my parents.  I love my sisters and it's GREAT watching them grow.  I know this trial will not last forever, and I'm glad that it has made us more aware of money and preparedness.  

I'm so glad we are studying Joseph Smith for one more year. I love reading about the restoration and hope to be as great a person as he was-as well as all the saints who followed him!

I love the gospel and I'm so in love with all of my friends who share their love for it as well.  Thank you for your examples! 

Love,

Kirsten

P.S. wish me luck to stop my crying!