So Ben and I are still at a cross roads! We are SO stressed that we are losing sleep, and when we DO sleep, Kirsten does "voices" in her sleep! Last night she did Miss Swan...from MAD TV. Oh yeah ok... a few times, according to Ben. Scary stuff. SO I've posted below where we stand. I've NEVER had such a hard time making a choice. I feel like HEavenly Father is trying to answer my prayers, but I"m not really sure what he's saying. Both choices are EQUAL! So read on and PLEASE give me some input!
So I told my bosses about our potential move to SG, and the CEO basically had a heart attack. He immediately started shooting down the idea because in his mind SG won't have any more opportunity than Orange County. If anything, it'll have LESS opportunity. SO over the course of 20 minutes I expplained ALL my reasons for why we might go. The cost of living is less...my family is there, we're ready to start a family soon...blah blah... he wasn't entirely convinced still..but could sorta see my reasoning. So I left feeling relieved that I'd gotten it off my chest, but irritated because of the reaction- making me feel like I just CAN'T leave. I HATE feeling like the control has been taken out of my hands, and someone else is choosing for me. So I felt crappy...but then I talked to Chris, my more direct supervisor (who had sort of seen this as a possibility) and he took it a little better, but still wanted me to stay. He was suggesting places Ben could get a job...and one of them was UCI, the college. I actually thought it was a good idea...cuz then Ben could get his MBA for FREE in another year! But...I still felt like we are supposed to GO. LAter that day at home Ben and I started thinking about the possibilty of telecommuting...that I could still do my job, but from SG! I started typing it all up, things I could do, and things my co worker would have to do. I was really excited! If I could keep my pay and my insurance...but live in SG my life would ROCK! SO the next day I proposed my idea to BOB, the C.E.O. I expected him to be just as excited as me about the idea...because he totally wants to go green and this would help us be paperless! He immediately had a negative reaction to it though-thinking of all the stupid things I wouldn't be able to do- like go to the electronic store to buy supplies...things that the office person HERE could do. SO Frustrating. He didn't say NO yet, but it feels like a NO.
So now here we are at a MAJOR crossroads. I know it seems like a given to move to SG and maybe it is...but here are the pros and cons for each...
St. George
Pro's:
Living close to family
Kirsten can get her bachelors degree
Living with parents can save lots of money and help the severence stretch longer
Kirsten can get a variety of different jobs that will pay well with the great resume she's built up
Ben can find a job working for Non Profit if he chooses
Ben will still get his unemployment checks
Car insurance is half the price
Food is half the price
Gas is cheaper
Cost of living is cheaper when we DO move out (by at LEAST half)
We could start performing again at St. George Musical Theater
Ben and I would start a music company (teaching voice, piano, recording studio)
We could afford to start having kids sooner
Closer to friends and younger couples
Con's
Loss of insurance (BIG CON)
No job guarantee
No MBA program for Ben (unless he gets his MBA at SUU)
Leaving Kirsten's great job and super great pay behind
No Disneyland or the Beach (BIg woop...we still have our passes)
ORange County
Pro's
Maintain insurance
Can still afford to live off of Kirsten's pay and Ben's unemployment
Kirsten continues to grow with job-possible raise
Ben can get his MBA at UCI
Con's
Ben has no insurance as it is
No savings potential
Ticking time bomb until Ben finds a suitable job
Not many friends or young couples
SIX hours from family
Cost of living is high and getting higher with a state tax raise to 9.25% (It's 6.25 in SG)
All the opposites of my pro's for SG..haha
SO based on that info, what would YOU do? It might seem obvious, but REALLY what would you do?
8 comments:
Personally- how I would handle this is plan on right now staying in Orange County. Go to work as ususal, have Ben search for a Job in Orange county.
THEN! On the side, search for a job in St. George. Go for interviews and such.
ONCE you have the St. George Job- then I would consider moving there and having your (Kirsten) go back to school there once Ben is in a job.
Because it is true. St. George isn't going to have so many extra oppritunities. And Probably it will have less since it is a smaller area.
HOWEVER in saying that, If you are MEANT to move to St. George right now, then a way will be provided. You will get jobs, and whatever will be needed.
I hope that helps you a little bit.
but in the mean time, I would assure your bosses that it doesn't look like you will be leaving any time soon. They may love you, but in order to keep up with good business there is nothing keeping them from hiring someone right now. Since now in their minds they think that you could potentially leave any time. SO I would do what you can to hold on to your job and take care of your job at the moment. People are having a harder and harder time finding jobs. So I think that would be number 1 on your list of concerns.
Taking care of the job you have and looking for a job before making any further choices.
It's really not THAT big of a blow to get insured! Before we had McKenzie we paid $216 a month for both of us and it had the average $5000 deductible for maternity! After McKenzie it jumped to $360, BUT we switched companies to one that didn't cover maternity as much (cuz pregnancy is not happening anytime soon after you have a kid! Then you just switch back before you are ready to start trying again) and now we pay like $260 for family. SO if Insurance is your big hang up, it doesn't have to be Kirst! You can make it work! Trust me I had to do so much homework with insurance since both of us are self employed. Anyways hope it helps! Don't let your boss make your decision for you!
think think think......hmmmmmmmm my first reaction when I was reading your post was......is there a HUGE hurry to do ANYTHING different? Will it make any difference if you give yourselves some time? or am I missing something? If you can keep it up right now with Ben's unemployment then calm down and take a breath and then see what happens. Remember that the Lord answers in many ways, but always on his time. That is always the hardest thing for me, but I'm learning to deal! You are one of the most level headed young ladies I've ever met (next to me of course!) and you will both make the right decision and the one that will bless your family the most. If wating isn't a possibility then tell me and I'll have to think in another direction. But my very first thoughts were to just pause and see what happens.
Think of it this way, you can always move to SG at any time if need be ($$$) or you decide it's the right move. So give yourselves the time to think it through and get His help.
I'll be praying also, and so are your parents so you WILL get the right guidance. I love you honey! Sheese
TOTALLY understand how you're feeling.
1. We were given some great advise from parents when we moved. "Remember, Heavenly Father isn't going to keep giving you the answer over and over." It was a huge eye opener because I realized that I had gotten my answer and was refusing to accept it.
2. If you really feel like now is the time to start your family and you know it's almost impossible in CA, maybe that's your answer.
3. Both choices are good. Maybe if you don't feel like you're getting an answer, it's because Heavenly Father knows that both are good and have good opportunities for growth.
4. Nothing ever has to be permanent. Neither CA or UT.
5. Finally, remember that you two are the only ones who know the entire, real, true situation as it is and only you two can make the decision together.
Good luck!!! Love you lots!
I love you and you'll make the right decision! We have to talk about this in person. I think I know what will make you happy though! :)
the last paragraph that ashley wrote though, is good sense. Don't do something you might to regret if you decide to stay.
call me back!! I tried to call you just now it's almost 1:30
Well Kirst...the question is, which is more important? Your job? Or Ben getting a good job?
If it were me, I would stay in California because there are so many more opportunities. My husband getting an amazing education is more important to me than being close to my family. Also, if Ben worked at a school, he could go to school for free, and usually spouses get to go for free also. If you want to start a family, isn't the best way to do it when you have insurance?
If you want to make St. George your permanent home, then what's the harm in staying away from it for just a little while longer?
You don't have to be grounded before you start having kids. It isn't going to matter to them where they live until they are about 5 anyway (just enough time to get done with school, get a great job, save some money, and buy a house). That's my advice. Take it or leave it. Love ya!
wellllllll what did you decide to do?
thank thank thank you for your comments, your so nice! What did you guys decide to do? Jared is in this situation too, he doesnt know which job to choose and ahh its driving me crazy!
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