Pretty Bored...

Yep that's what I am these days. I sleep in as long as I can both because I seem to always be tired, and to kill as much time as possible. Then I eat breakfast, take care of Connor's breakfast needs, sit around while he starts getting into everything and plays with all his toys, and wait for the next meal. Then lunch time comes around and it's basically the same routine....and I am getting to the point where it is just hard to get him in and out of his high chair and I have to bug someone else to do it now. My belly is just in the way. Sometimes for fun I do dishes, clean up around the house and some days my mom, Connor and I go shopping. But we really don't have any money so it's mostly just along for the ride or returning stuff I bought previously..ha ha. We seem to go to lunch quite often but even that has become mundane. Around 3 in the afternoon I find myself watching the clock wondering when something exciting will happen. I look forward to nap time whenever that happens to be...it's never the same time everyday because he wakes up different times each day. So usually when I know napping is over, the next thing I have to look forward to is dinner and bed time when I can sit and veg and watch tv. I know this is a lame excuse for a day...and maybe some of you can either relate or are shaking your heads wondering how a person can be so lazy. But this is my life now. I spent the summer trying to stay busy, went swimming with Connor as often as I could and tried to survive the heat and Ben finishing grad school.

Well now school is forever done. Ben finished for good last week. I got my diploma in the mail the day he finished...how awesome :) It made it more real to me that I now have my Bachelor's degree, something I honestly never imagined having/doing. I'm pretty proud of that but can't help but feel like....well now what?

So I'm a mother, which I love. But sometimes it is SO boring. I even live with my family so it's not like I'm home alone all day. I even have Ben here all day. So is that maybe the problem? I am relying on everyone to entertain me and I've forgotten how to entertain myself???

I sit around thinking of the things that stress me out...like our car problems- we just had the AC on our honda fixed. It's only been having issues for maybe 3-4 years??? Lame and it's still not all the way fixed. Still doesn't get very cold or blow very hard. But the mechanic said to totally replace it would be like $1000. Not gonna happen. Oh and then there's the big crack on the front bumper that we are waiting to repair when the insurance comes through. And the trunk that won't latch anymore and is now dented because the idiot mechanic dented it while trying to fix it...and acted like it was already there. And our jeep used to be the car with reliable cold air...and now that has gone out it seems. So we are getting rid of it before we have to pay for another stupid repair. I feel like we're going to have to give it away...but maybe someone will actually want to drive a jeep and won't mind getting a minor tune up to the AC. These are things that make the endless hours impossible to relax and enjoy.

I would love to start reading again, but don't feel like I'd ever be able to read very many pages. I don't want to expect everyone to have to take care of Connor while I have "a life" because he really is my life and I love spending time with him. But I need a purpose, or a goal or something. What do other moms do to stay sane???? My mom says it's probably worse because I am pregnant and getting antsy. This pregnancy never seems to end. I have been pregnant since January and I feel like....REALLY? I still have 2 months left?!

This is a post from a very negative nilly...I am not in the happiest of moods today. I seem to wake up every day with a head ache. I used to look forward to small things like a diet coke run with my mom. Trying to figure out who has the best ice. But my doctor has told me all I can have now is water and milk. So that excitement is out.

I guess I just need some suggestions on what I can do while we sit here day in and day out waiting to hear back from jobs that Ben has applied for. I really hope we are normal people some day who have a job and a normal routine. For now I'll just bide my time and try not to pull my hair out.

Hey tomorrow's Friday...that means my dad gets off work early and the weekend starts. Which is really no different from the weekdays...ha ha. PEACE OUT