I just have a lot of feelings...

Remember that line from "Mean Girls"? I found myself thinking that today as I sat eating my lunch. Leftover homemade Cafe Rio...delish! I am pretty excited about the new developments in Ben's potential job! He will be flying out June 6th for an interview, so we'll probably have our ultrasound June 8th. It'll be a crazy week...hopefully full of fun, exciting news! :-) And that's where my "feelings" come in. I was so set on moving out mid June. But I doubt it'll be that fast now that it's still 2 weeks til he interviews. I look around at my disaster zone of a house and instead of being relieved that I still have a month at least to get packed up....I don't want to wait! I just wanna get out of here! I know the weather is bad everywhere but I feel like Cedar is the worst. Snow in May? COME ON. And this constant rain is really getting to me. I just want to go outside and exercise my fat pregnant self.

Speaking of...I am SO much bigger this time than I was with Connor. I know that's normal...but honestly by the end of the day I look like I'm 30 weeks pregnant. It's awful. But feeling the baby move makes it worth it. It's a very active baby so far, moves as much as I can remember Connor moving at this point! I'm blessed to feel my babies move pretty early on. I'm a worry wart and that movement keeps me sane.

Let's see...more feelings....I'm really tired because I haven't been sleeping well. I'm in that weird phase of can't sleep on your stomach but if you angle the body pillow just right you can sorta fake it...so when I toss and turn the body pillow comes with me. And I have already started getting restless legs. And they even hit when I'm asleep. So last night, while I did have time to dream of tornadoes, hair salons and the like, I feel like I didn't sleep at all. I know I get worse when I'm anxious...like the other night I got lost in our room. I was up to go pee and somehow got turned around in our room. I was sleep walking sort of...cuz I can remember it but I also know I did NOT have my eyes open or I would have quickly figured out that the closet was NOT the entrance into the bathroom. Ben woke up to a re-arranged bedroom. Whoops.

I am looking forward to all that moving on with life entails...a new place to call home, new friends, new everything. But man I'm nervous. It's not cheap to live out there. We're most likely going to end up in a three family home...which is so weird to me. Three families living on a different floor of a big house? I thought it was hard to be attached at the garage to someone...oy. And then there's the fact that my aunt pointed out New Haven is the 4th most dangerous city in the U.S. um....... (Ben said it's only certain parts...which doesn't comfort me in the least).

I need to get on here and post about Easter, our anniversary and all that jazz. For now my innermost thoughts will have to do. I hate these blustery days....