Parker

So last night while thinking about Parker and his upcoming MRI (which was this morning) we started thinking about his development and tried to remember what Connor was doing at this age. Thank you blog because I had posted a lot about Connor and what he was doing right about now! It made me sad that I haven't really done the same thing for Parker. Life is just crazy busy...but it was before I guess too...something about blogging has lost my interest but for my kids sake and my memory's sake I really want to do it more. So here is a post all about Parker!

Parker is smart and silly! He loves to jabber and make new noises and he even has a squeal that is much like the one Connor had around this age. He loves almost all foods- at first he didn't really love veggies but he is coming around! He loves his sweet potatoes and squash like any baby, and the other day I got him to eat some peas. He eats cereal with some fruit mixed in after his long morning nap. He basically wakes up first thing to nurse then goes back to sleep for 2-3 hours. Heavenly! So he eats his cereal and fruit, then after some play time has a nap. Then he nurses more, and a little later has some veggie and meat, and if he's really hungry, he has another jar of fruit! He loves to play in his walker, or on the floor with some toys. He loves to be in Connor's crib with some toys, or on the floor of Connor's room which is covered with foam squares. He isn't crawling yet but he knows how to go backwards, and he pulls himself onto his tummy from sitting position. I have seriously NEVER seen him roll from back to tummy. I think he CAN but chooses not to. But so funny for a kid his age to have not done that! He's just content to not be very mobile. He is a WATCHER. He watches Connor constantly and the dogs, and just is REALLY mellow and enjoys life. He is a momma's boy and LOVES to nurse and snuggle with me. He started reaching for people in the past week or two, and I ALWAYS have preference. If I'm around he leans for me like crazy! Today when he was being prepped for his MRI I had to sit in a chair on the other side of the curtain so he wouldn't see me and get upset that he couldn't nurse. It was so funny cuz a couple of times he spotted me!  He's vey aware and alert and smiles ALL the time. People go out of their way every day to come tell me what a beautiful baby boy he is. They love his piercing blue eyes, his long eyelashes, his sweet and loving smily and his cute little curl on the top of his head. He is my BABY...he just makes me melt and I LOVE looking into his eyes.

He has started giggling more and more and he and Connor will sit together and just laugh their guts out for NO reason sometimes- just feeding on one another's laughter! It's fun to watch and makes me get tears in my eyes to see what a sweet relationship they have.  I am so happy I brought them both into this world!

As I sit typing he is sitting on my lap, watching the screen and sometimes trying to type. He is saying "Ma ma ma...da dah" and all sorts of noises that have me excited to hear him say the real words! One day he was sitting on my lap facing me and I heard him say "ma ma"so I said it again and he studied my lips really closely, then clear as day said it back to me! "Ma Ma" It sounded like one of those movie  voice overs they do for babies hahaha it was awesome! He is sitting here doing pat a cake which he has done for many months on cue. He thinks he's pretty neat. He has a sound I'm hearing more and more "Aaa beee..." sounds like "happy"  or "baby" which is cute! He also growls and makes this MAD noise when he's frustrated and sometimes we can't tell if it's Connor or Parker! He LOVES to spit and blow raspberries OVER AND OVER. It makes grandma Betsy really mad because he does it so loud! Ha ha...and he LOVES to do it when he's being fed which means we get showered in his food. GROSS. But he has a mind of his own which we love! He also loves running his hand over his lips while he talks to hear the noise it makes...ya know? Hard to explain in words. He is just sitting here saying mamamama...I LOVE it. He also love love loves the water. We have gone swimming a lot this summer and he just splashes like crazy and doesn't care when he gets his face all wet from the splashing. He also loves the tub and will kick and splash forever if we let him! He and Connor have fun taking baths together as well.

Parker doesn't go to bed very early, he stays up til 8:30 or 9:30 depending on the night but then he sleeps all night long! It's so nice to get rest. The only time he didn't sleep well was when his bottom two teeth broke through! Yep he got two at once and they are SO cute! We loved his gummer grin but his toother grin is just as adorable! He has just started eating gerber puffs in the past couple days and it's so cute to watch him reach for them and feed himself! He tried it last week but gagged on every small bite and puked...so I'm glad he's figured it out now! I'm much more laxed with him then I was with Connor..I didn't let Connor have ice cream or sugar or anything for a lot longer..but I have let Parker taste a lot of things for the past few months. He loves it!

Oh and most fun of all- he's a little singer! He has started making singing noises this past week and it's SO SWEET. I know it's cuz he sees and hears Connor singing ALL THE TIME and we have a lot more music in our home than ever with Ben's caroling group and the fact that he is singing again.  It's awesome and just how it should be!

 Wanted to capture those gummers before the teeth broke through! 

 Making that noise with his mouth and fingers..the one I was trying to describe :)

 Blowing raspberries

Not good news

So we have had some heartbreak. It's just our life's story. We had a job offer. In fact this post was originally drafted to tell everyone the great news. We were elated. They wanted Ben and were so excited for him to start. One misinterpreted question later...we're just as screwed as we always were.  I won't say the company. But they are local. We were so happy we'd be able to make good money while staying in town. Things were really falling into place for us. Well...Ben called back to accept their offer and said "So is there any wiggle room in the salary? I was hoping for a bit more but just wanted to see if there was any room for that..." And that was ALL. They said "We'll check into it and let you know." That was a Wednesday. By Friday they still hadn't called back so Ben called them. They said "Well we can't pay you that much so our offer is off the table." JUST LIKE THAT OUR DREAMS WERE DASHED AGAIN. We hadn't made a demand for more...just asked if there was a possibility of more. We would have had to pay out of pocket for health insurance, around $650 a month so we were just hoping to have a bit more to make up the difference. It wasn't greedy...it's a standard question you ask when you've been offered a job. So that's that. It's gone. The HR lady said she'd talk to the manager and let him know. The weekend went by. We got to agonize and pray our guts out. We fasted, we prayed, we cried, we got mad, we got sick, we got depressed, we got hopeful. We went through all the emotions. Monday went by and no word. So Ben called again. "She's trying to decide whether she wants to offer you the job again..." which means WHAT?! Are we in Kindergarten? Is this real life? What exactly did we do that was so OFFENSIVE and merits you to THINK about it? So Ben said "I think I was misunderstood...I am PERFECTLY fine with your offer, I was only asking if there was any room for negotiation." She said, yes I understand that...I'll talk to her and see if she's made up her mind." So that was over 24 hours ago...NOTHING. Are people really REALLY this inconsiderate? Do we live in a different universe where people aren't nice to one another and forget that we are all human and have needs? They know we have a family. They were excited about Ben's skills and wanted him for the job. And just like that they took it away. Or so it seems. I've had such a trial of faith it makes me sick. I have cried so much today my eyes are puffy. I have to keep carrying on because life goes on. I have kids...I have a photography business and clients who need me. I have a husband I have to support...so that's it.

We go in at 7:45 a.m. tomorrow for Parker's MRI. I am nervous, because he has to go under anesthesia. It carries risks. I'm sure he'll be ok. The doc just wants a better look at his brain to figure out why his head is bigger than normal, his soft spot is still very big and open, and parts of his skull aren't closed where they should be. His ventricle is bigger than the others and they don't know what that means. I really have nothing to report. He had an ultrasound on his head last week to see what the deal was and that's when they found the ventricle issue. Needless to say it's been a long week. I am exhausted in every way. We are going to California Thursday to visit and it will be a much needed and wanted trip. Here are some pics of the boys...because no post is complete without pictures. :) Pray for us please.

 Connor's a warlock...pretty powerful stuff!

Love this adorable little face!!!

The sweetest moments

I LOVE being a mom. I had a month a while back where I didn't like it so much. I was tired and crying a lot and asking WHY can't I just ENJOY this phase?!  I know it won't last forever! But things changed, kids started sleeping a bit better and I am finally ENJOYING motherhood again. The transition to two has been interesting and I don't know what I'd do if I didn't live with family. I guess adjust--the way all moms do. But I am a lucky girl.

There have been moments lately that take my breath away and even bring tears to my eyes. Watching my sons together is the sweetest thing ever.   A couple weeks ago Connor hurt Parker- he bit his hand and Parker was SO sad. In the midst of this I was mad at Connor and telling him how mean that was and he needed to say sorry. He came over to Parker and said "I'm sorry Parker--I love you- so much!" It was the first time Connor had really ever said I love you without being prompted and the fact that he said it to his brother was SO tender. He comforts him all the time and tells him "It's ok Parker. Does that feel better? I love you!" He even says "I love you Parkin' Lot!" which is my dad's nickname for Parker. The way Parker watches Connor tells me he loves him too. I sometimes feel bad that Parker will never get to have me all to himself- he's not the first born. But then I realize how lucky he is to have an older brother. One like Connor- he's insanely lucky!

It's HARDER than I ever thought to be the mother of a two year old. He honestly is the BUSIEST kid I've ever been around. He breaks everything and is deliberately naughty a LOT. But for all his naughtiness he has just as much tenderness and sweetness and love. He asks me "whats' wrong mommy?" when I'm hurt or when he can just tell I'm stressed. He says "I'm sorry mommy" when he makes me upset. He always has had good manners but to be a caring person is so wonderful.

Parker is growing so fast it makes me sad- but I LOVE watching him learn. He does "pat a cake" on cue and we all sorta feel like he's a very bright and observant kid. He has a lot of people to watch and learn from so it's no wonder but I am proud of his every move nonetheless. He's so snuggly and tender and precious! He eats like a champ- lots of yummy baby food lately. I love that I still nurse him though. It's an experience I never was able to enjoy or cherish with Connor and I know Parker and I share a sweet bond from that.

It's so easy to feel like a crappy mom when I don't dedicate every waking second to watching my kids play and learn. I spend some time working on organizing our house or doing some photo editing. I even spend some of their "play" time behind the lens of my camera working on my skills. But then I have moments like today that make me realize I'm doing an ok job- and I am living out the greatest dream I ever had- being a mommy. Connor LOVES the primary song "Whenever I hear the Song of a Bird". He knows it very well as well as a lot of other songs since we got him a primary piano for Christmas. He watches this music video and not a time goes by that I don't cry a little. But today I watched/listened to him sing along to the video and I felt the spirit SO strong. I know the Lord's angels are surrounding us when those moments happen. I know the sacred role I possess is glorified in those moments- and I feel comfort to have patience and do my very best as a mommy.

Cruise to Mexico April 2012

We surprised my mom with a family cruise for her dreaded 50th birthday! She had NO idea in spite of the accidental call backs we got from Carnival a few weeks prior! It was such a fun surprise and here is the detailed blog post of our adventures! 

Driving to California wasn't the greatest or smoothest trip. Parker was antsy and had to be fed a few times once even pulling off the road in a random spot. It wasn't awful but we were all excited to GET THERE so when we were not far out and I had to pee there was no way the car was stopping. Once we got to the port I couldn't find a bathroom fast enough! Overall not a bad 6 hours.

Day 1: Getting on the ship...this was hell. Connor was SO over it by the time dinner rolled around. We did great at getting all the luggage and people out of the cars and onto the ship. Thank goodness for being able to check your luggage at the curb! We brought the pack n play and Parker's cradle top.  It made the kids sleep so much better I think bringing those comforts of home with us! We were starved by the time we got onboard and I literally tried everything from the buffet line. I was chomping at the bit waiting for Camp Carnival to open so we could get Connor out of our hair. He was just not pleasant and wanted to touch EVERYTHING inside our cabin. Lights on, lights off, doors open doors closed...grrrr.  So yay for camp Carnival! He did really great the first night and loved it! He was so excited! He was the first kid in there since we showed up a bit early to check him in. All the other parents were anxious as well it seemed. He had a name tag and we got a cell phone so they could call if he needed us. Which was nice because the phone worked to call anywhere on the ship so we were able to coordinate with everyone better throughout the cruise. And it was free! The first night was great and we had a nice dinner without any fuss from Connor. Parker wasn't too thrilled and was SO tired. Both kids were. By the time we got them ready for bed after dinner they were OUT and slept so great that first night!

Day 2: We woke up after a nice rest and Connor got into bed with us before we turned the lights on.  When we turned them on Connor said ""Oh my heck! Bedroom!"  He continued to say "Oh My Heck" throughout the rest of the trip which cracked everyone up. What a kid. I could keep a blog of all the funny things he says and never run out of things to type!  We were in Catalina this day.  We had a great breakfast at the buffet outside by the pool.  It was nice and warm and I wanted to get in the pool! We hurried to the boat tenders before they got too busy and tendered over to the island.  We walked around for a while, took a jaunt to "the casino" which is a really nice theater and beautiful for photo ops.  We had Connor on his leash and in his stroller, and Parker was in his bjorn sling thing. He was so comfy and happy in that thing! He ended up taking a little nap while Ben was holding him in it that day. We sat by some people on a bench area who thought he was just beautiful and even thought he was a girl. I'm ok with this because I KNOW he's a beautiful baby and I'd rather have people think my boy is a girl than have a girl that looks like a boy...right? Ha ha.  We tried to decide what to do between glas bottom boats, bikes, parasailing or kayaking. What finally worked for everyone was that Ashlee and my mom got motorized bikes while the rest of us rode in golf carts! My dad, Desi, Connor and Tasha in one, and Ben, Parker and me in the other. My driving made Ben nervous as heck but I did a great job and there was a really fun route to follow that took us around a good part of the mountain. I'm so glad we did this because I had been to the island before but had only gone kayaking and had missed out on seeing the beauty of the island!

Connor riding in the golf cart with the beautiful scenery behind him

My dad was so nice to pay for everything and we LOVED the ride! The kids even got to be safe in car seats! My mom had some issues with her bike engine and we all got a kick out of watching her try to peddle up the steep hill. Eventually we had to separate so she could go get her bike fixed. She and Ash still had fun riding after that though! 

That afternoon we headed back (me with my $2 12 pack of diet coke from Von's) and took a LONG afternoon nap. The kids and I slept for like 3 hours! 

Family picture on Catalina

Everyone in the golf carts!

Ashlee and mom on their motorized bikes!

That night we watched a stupid comedian, who was supposed to be family friendly but was really annoying and sorta scary... Connor did NOT want to go back to Camp Carnival in the afternoon or any other day after today. We think it made him nervous that the people there changed his diaper. We had kept calling it "nursery" and he probably didn't feel comfortable with these strange people changing his diaper. That's all we could think of anyway...but hey at least we got a cell phone! That night was formal night and we had a fun dinner! I was glad Connor hadn't gone to Camp Carnival and was able to enjoy his huge dinner with us. He had pizza, fries, fruit, veggies, and a PB&J!

Formal night, Connor getting his pizza cut by the waiter.

Formal Night

YUM

Dancing on formal night!

Day 3: Ensenada, we are so blessed! Looking down at my sweet Connor in his stroller with his nice clothes on while kids not much older than him were trying to peddle random things made me so thankful for what we have! We are on a big family vacation, eating like kings and enjoying comforts these people only dream of. It really made me feel spoiled.  We didn't last long with the kids, they were cold and fussy and we had no idea where to go or what to do.  So we headed back to the ship after walking towards "town" for half an hour or so. On our way back this lady in Ensenada stopped us and gave Connor some bubbles. She was from the cruise and was so excited when she asked if were Mormon. She was from Iowa or somewhere and it was very exciting to see other Mormons for her! So she said to us, "way to be parents, and way to rock the garment line!"Ha ha..ok!


We ate lunch and enjoyed the Water slides!!! Eventually the rest of the family joined us and we all enjoyed lemonade and cookies while we played on the slides. For basically 2 hours I think we were sliding away! It had a really fun big slide and two racer slides. I am such a fish and could NOT get outta the water! Connor must get that from me cuz he sure enjoyed it too! I even went down the kid slides with him a few hundred times! Ha ha.  It was a BLAST and not busy since everyone was off the ship shopping in Mexico! At dinner there was fun dancing, Connor dancing with waiter, and sleeping on Ben's chest. Me throwing rice at people and saying "surprise"! Getting hyper at dinner and everyone laughing. (These are some of the random things I jotted        down I didn't want to forget!)

Day 4: At sea. We enjoyed relaxing, enjoyed quiet time, and got a 3 1/2 hour nap from Connor! I got a massage while he was sleeping and MAN did it feel GREAT. Getting a massage on a cruise is amazing because you get rocked back and forth while you're enjoying the ambiance of the music and all that. I was pretty dang relaxed! It made me realize I need to take better care of myself.  They tried to sell me their product after the massage and honestly if I'd have had a lot of extra money I would have bought it...but the therapist telling me basic info about the body and what it needs made me very motivated to take care of my skin and body. Since then I've stuck to a great regimen and feel a difference! We loved  rocking to sleep with the cruise motion, but at some points felt sorta sick and didn't want to eat.  But oddly enough, eating made us feel better. Well some of us anyway....Desi puked.  Connor wanted to sleep on my chest at dinner because Ben had tried to get him to do that the night before. Anytime the dining room lights flashed a little he thought it was time for dancing again and could hardly wait to dance! The waiters made it very fun for him and he had a blast! He really didn't LOVE the food that much but I think he ate enough to stay happy haha.

Overall impressions: Feel so happy to have gone on a successful family vacation. The kids were awesome, and would have had meltdowns no matter where we were so it was fun to be on vacation. All the other passengers were super nice and sweet to our kids, more than I expected. The crew was of course very friendly and everyone just gushed over Parker.  Each day I thought to myself "Wow this is NOT how I expected people to act towards us!" EVERYONE was sweet and adored our kids.  And having Connor there made me feel more kind towards other people too. He says hi to EVERYONE we walk past and it amazes me how people come right out of their shell to say hi to a little toddler. They can go from being quiet and reserved to smiley and silly in an instant! I find myself thinking "And a little child shall lead you" quite a bit...

Grandma Betsy loving on Connor 

Connor loving the slide again on our day at sea

His two favorite parts of the cruise: Ice cream and water slide

Connor bugging Desi instead of playing in the water :)

Enjoying some last time sun on the waterslide deck!

Last day! Picture in our cabin

Thanks dad for such an awesome trip and mom for turning 50 so we could go!!!! :-)

Life is constantly changing. I am very behind on blogging. But I just made a big ole list of my goals in life and one of them is to get this here blog updated. Eventually I want to print it into a book...a year at a time. I need money for that I think... :)

 Connor putting "gas" in his car!

 Mowing the lawn

 Connor milk!

 Show me your teeth!

 Sweet smiles

Yummy finger! I like to suck my thumb too!

So let me just highlight the goings on in our lives!

Connor LOVES to play outside and spring weather has treated us well. He can play outside for hours. One day I think he was out there from sun up to sun down with breaks to eat and take his nap. He goes out there before he even has his jammies changed into his clothes. He "mows the lawn" with the $1 lawnmower I bought him at a yard sale last year. He picks flowers and stuffs them in his pocket. He drives his car around as well as his bike. He climbs the stairs on the side of the house to his little playhouse and makes "food" which is really sand from his sandbox. His vocabulary has increased exponentially. He talks in complete sentences, and can communicate almost perfectly with us. He sings all the time, to himself and for us. He knows the words to a lot of primary songs, like Jesus Wants me for a Sunbeam" and "Whenever I hear the song of a bird"...he is a beautiful singer! I hope he gets some musical talent :-) He is hitting that phase where the things he says and does make us laugh so hard! His phrase that is most common is "Oh my heck!" which signifies his Utah upbringing....oh boy.  He knows it's funny so he says it more! He was a crack up on our cruise with all his "oh my hecks"!

Parker is at one of my favorite ages. 6 months old is SO fun! He sleeps better (mostly) he eats solids which means a little less nursing and more flexibility for me. And he is starting to babble! We love hearing his "bababa" and "dadadada". It's so fun! He smiles and giggles and is SO easy going. He has piercing blue eyes that people can't help but comment on when they see him. He's just a beautiful happy fun baby! So far he likes sweet potatoes, pears and apples. He doesn't love bananas too much, and he HATES carrots. Squash he can do..but it's not his fave. I think it's so funny how babies have preferences so young. He also hates taking medicine. He turns his head away and refuses to open his mouth! Connor used to love ANYTHING you gave him and still does! :-)  Parker spends his days taking frequent naps, eating, pooping, playing outside in his bouncer while his brother plays, laying on his play mat and talking to his dangling toys, being held and cuddled by all 8 members of the family and snuggling with his mommy. He is a darling boy and I am so happy to have him! I don't want him to get teeth...his gummer smile is my favorite!

They boys are best friends and are interacting with each other more and more. They make each other so happy and they are both fascinated with one another.  They can spend long periods of time cuddling with each other and talking to each other. It melts my heart!

Benjamin is taking a big turn in his life and pursuing some different avenues. He has an amazing talent and has been taking advantage of it for many years due to some bad experiences in the past. But he has slowly realized how happy it makes him and the denial is slowly melting away. I am rooting him on and hoping he keeps it up. He is taking voice lessons from Brodie Perry and I think he will be able to get Ben's voice where he wants it. If so, Ben may have his name in lights someday! I know he could make it big and his voice is at a stage where he could really be successful. He wants to sing in Operas and I think he would be incredible. Watching him perform makes me get chills and sometimes makes me cry, and in certain settings makes me giddy! He's just TALENTED!!!

I am still doing photography and getting more into it each day. It's not my #1 passion...my kids definitely are.  I love having something to do for myself and it helps make money for my family but I am careful not to get too obsessed and consumed with it. Funny how when I when I had a job before kids all I wanted to do was stay home and take care of a family. And I'm thrilled to be doing that, but I realize I still need to pursue my goals and interests and be a better me so I can help them be better people! It's a hard balance to achieve. As I type this post Connor is "raking" the lawn and I know I could be paying a little more attention to him but I never have time to post! And thank goodness he knows how to occupy himself. Sometimes that leads to mischief however....

I'm grateful for my career because it means I take more pictures of my own kids...for practice and because I love doing it. I find myself taking way too many and have to delete a lot of the dumb ones, which is hard because every single picture is so sweet to me!

Well there's the update and I'll work on getting caught up!